The day has arrived, Forrest Gump has died and
takes his trip to heaven. He is now standing at
the Pearly Gates,and is met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are
closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well,
Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've
been administering an entrance examination for everyone.
Saint Peter tells Forrest that in order to gain admittance a prospective
Heavenly Soul must answer three questions.
"The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can
get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here St. Peter, sir. But
nobody never tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too
hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is
only three questions
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the
next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you
have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one - -
Which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks,
that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest,
that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point and I
guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer.
How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How many seconds
in a year?" "Now that one's harder," says Forrest,"but I thunk
and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's
name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says,
"Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd . "Wait a minute," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going
with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had
in mind, but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too.
Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell
me God's first name"?
"Sure", Forrest replied, " it's Andy."
"Andy?", exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first
two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name
Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all", Forrest replied, "I learnt
it from the song . "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells
me I am his own"
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "God Bless you,
Run Forrest, run."
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